Gone with the Wind (1939)

I'm going to tell you how I felt about this movie. I'm not even going to creative about it, I'm just going to spit out what I thought and suffer the consequences. I HATED THIS MOVIE!!! It's not that it is a bad movie, it's just not enjoyable to watch. Ok, that's not fair to say. It wasn't fun for me to watch but I know a whole community of women that would love this movie. Namely girls who love drama, romance, and deceit. Also any diaper wearing senior citizen who looks forward to applesauce time would love this flick. That is because Gone with the Wind was just a 4 hour soap opera. Don't know what a soap opera is? Well let me enlighten you with an example from the show Futurama. "All my Circuits" is a soap opera that is watched regularly by the characters of Futurama. It follows a robot named Calculon and everything imaginable happens to him. "All My Circuits" is only ever shown in clips, but here is a breakdown of one episode:

1) Antonio reveals that he has forgotten how to be Calculon's son because he has amnesia.

2) In the next scene Calculon enters the bedroom to find his wife Monique in bed with his half brother Boxy. "Calculon?!?" she shouts, "but I thought you were..." "Egyptian?" he responds.

3) The scene then switches to a boat where Monique is going to kill Antonio. "Before I kill you I must ask you one question. Who am I? For I have amnesia!"

4) The next scene shows all of the characters in one room, and Calculon asks, "... Does anyone here not have amnesia?"

This is just like "Gone with the Wind." Ms. Scarlett, who annoyed me within the first 20 minutes of the movie, is in love with the husband of another woman. To make him jealous she marries a couple of guys who she doesn't love. She becomes a widow several times, and all the while an army captain is trying to convince her to love him. There's lots of other emotional strain from outside variables such as the Civil War, high taxes, and murder. It's just one big roller-coaster of emotions.

Before I started this movie I was warned by many people that it is long. That was a gross understatement. It was nearly 4 hours. My mother said to me, "You better just get into your pajamas and watch this in bed because it is so boring." I was also warned of the "soap-operaness" of the show. My brother-in-law said to me, "It is so long! And it's like 'Sex in the City.' Everyone cheats on each other, and are in love with other people." If only I could have just listened to what they had to say and not watch the show. The only movie I didn't finish was "Panic Room" with Jodie Foster. I wouldn't have finished this one had it not been for the list. You should be grateful that I put my body through such torture to finish this list.

The bottom line:
Rating: 2.3
Would I own it? Not on your young queer life.
Would I recommend it? Only to devote Jane Austen readers.